Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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