I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
