Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
