the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
