i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
