What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
