Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
