If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
