My brain says no but my pants say off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
