Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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