a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
