Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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