Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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