real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm always down for nudity.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize