At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
