If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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