I have demons in me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
