you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
