And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
