Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
