yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
