My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs