It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?