I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.