If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize