How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother