Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.