all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
