lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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