So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
