Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize