Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
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The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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