Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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