good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
