He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
