She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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