I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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