I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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