There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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