You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
