First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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