So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
