how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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