So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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