So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
