He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
