its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
