is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He has the fingertips of a God
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