She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
