That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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