Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
