there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
