Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
