Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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