your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
