brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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