i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
