I'm so fucking centered right now
So drunk its hurt
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
