he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
