when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
