I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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