He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
