i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
