I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
