When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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