you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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