your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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