grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
